Understanding the Psychological Impact of Divorce on Children: Effective Parenting Strategies
Divorce can be a hot mess for kids, leading to their feelings of confusion turning into longer-lasting emotional issues like feelings of sadness and anxiety. Additionally, the physical disruption of their family dynamics can contribute to differences in how children of divorced families progress socially. They could show patterns that display that they are somewhat “behind their classmates” (the kids who do not have to deal with self-esteem issues and/or relational issues related or due to their divorced or divorcing parents confusing ways) in their social development. Thus, the psychological implications of divorce are super important for any parent to understand if they have children and are currently facing or considering requesting and/or finalizing a divorce. Effective communication, emotional support, and co-parenting strategies can help support a child’s routines, behaviors, and feelings. If the kid is at the heart of all of the prospective activities of the parents, then the impacts of the parents’ divorce on that child’s emotional and psychological development should not be a problem. Moms, particularly, are Cher-like, do-right-everything, always with the appropriate-emotion-for-the-situation “Warrior Beings.” They will bring any (legally or illegally, maybe) executed decision-making strategies to bear on the other parent that results in impacts on them that make that parent not the greatest parent that they can be at any given moment.
How Divorce Affects Child Development
Influenced by their stages of development, children of different age groups relate uniquely to the experience of divorce. Toddlers can't understand arguments or ideas like "not loving each other anymore," but they sense the mood. They can often "see" that everyone's upset, and from this observation, they feel anxiety. As a result, you may see regression (an effort to "go back" from the anxiety-inducing situation to a more comfortable stage) in behavior. For example, the toddler is likely to increase the number of tantrums and may want to stop using the potty. You're also likely to see more tantrums, too, as the toddler looks for reassurance in a thinking-as-feeling strategy of Cling. Older, school-age children are more upset by the loss of the family structure. They are more likely to "have it out" for one parent. Usually, the parent being angry or upset by is pretty stable. You're likely—correctly—tosee the problem as mom's or dad's fault. Understandably, they have great trouble managing changes in their lives and routines. After what's probably your highly ritualized routine, you have to take the child to the other parent, break up over the weekend, return to stricter rules (unfairly; children like a little leniency), and get back to normal. Teenagers will experience "loss of family structure" in school-age children, too, but generally, the primary emotional reaction is resentment. Teens, who are barely developing a good sense of identity and unsettled by natural physiological issues, suffer significantly from the effects on trust.
Parenting Strategies to Support Children Through Divorce
Preserving some kind of time-space schedule is also an essential part of the healing process. Kids should receive some messages of calm and comfort: Dinner will be served on time. Breakfast will be ready in the morning. Schools will remain open, and lessons will continue. Their friends will still be available for play. In short, their world will diffract light in a surprising new refractive angle, but they will be able to observe this and talk about it. We should encourage, validate, and help the children navigate these troubled waters of unchartered emotion in a safe place. Be it with an incipient toddler just learning to shape his or her emotions, or a young five-year-old who might prefer to draw, paint, or plasticine-model his or her feelings.
The Psychological Impact of Divorce on Children
Divorce can send kids for an emotional loop that might include feelings of sadness, anger, and confusion. After all, they are losing their intact family, probably changing their family home arrangements and living life as they know it, or they are feeling scared about what is going to happen next, or all three. Kids may not always say how they are feeling, and sometimes these feelings become behavioral changes, a drop in grades, or the child pulling away from their friends. While it is important to note these psychological changes as a parent, it is also your job to reaffirm your child and make them feel better about it, i.e., talk with them about it, allow them to have those feelings, and own everything they are feeling (validate their feelings). This can help your child transition well into their new life by being okay with it.
Seeking Professional Help
Family counseling is crucial for children and parents trying to make sense of the new emotional landscape they must navigate. A good counselor will create a secure space for all family members to air their doubts. This way, children can get answers to their questions, and parents can get help to best meet their kids' needs in the least aggressive way possible. Don't arrive late to therapy. With any luck, it will stop a molehill from growing into a mountain. Also, a good counselor will give you all the words you need to use, as well as a few pointers for steering into the skid when you need to. The idea is that, through this process, the family will sort out all their dirty laundry so that clean items are all that remain.
Children going through a family divorce might end up having psychological issues, such as increased anxiety, heightened depression, and new or increased behavior problems out of confusion or a sense of being abandoned by their dad, mom, or both. As a result, it is crucial for all parents going through a divorce to recognize the new or worsened conditions their children are now dealing with. Many, if not most of these conditions, will most likely decrease in severity if the parents employ the strategies above consistently, with support and love for their children. Various strategies for the parents to employ consistently are open communication, consistency in each parent's love and support for their children, and increasing each child's stability by keeping the family's daily, weekly, and monthly parent routines. If your children are still struggling and you're wondering if counseling or joining a support group would make a difference, then yes, therapy or a support group could provide huge benefits for you and your children. We can help your children through this difficult transition as well or better than anyone else. Your children need support from consistent adults at this very trying time because the enhanced care your children could receive now could be what they need to help them overcome their known and presently unknown mental issues.